I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
