a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I have post one night stand depression
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
