he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
