I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
