whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
