If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
