We won't sleep together?
Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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