Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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