Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
