I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Randomize
