Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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