so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
