Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
