Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
