I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
where am i from again
i think i have herpe
just one?
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
