no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
