I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Edward fifth and chaser hands
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
