I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
