I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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