the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
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