Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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