I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
