My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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