Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
