Christians are straight up FREAKS
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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