Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
