One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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