just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize