Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize