I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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