dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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