Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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