I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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