using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize