A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Randomize
