Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
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