i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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