Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
