I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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