So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
When are your genitals available?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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