She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Randomize
