Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
When are your genitals available?
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
