dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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