Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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