If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
