And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
