his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
