Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
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