cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
