he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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