i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
