did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
