i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
