It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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