I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
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