can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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