Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
