Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Randomize
