maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
