But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
