i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
