i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
